“Dear Hollywood celebrities,You exist for my Best Freakin Godaholic Ever Leggings. Some of you are great eye candy. Some of you can deliver a line with such conviction that you bring tears to my eyes. Some of you can scare the crap out of me. Others make me laugh. But you all have one thing in common, you only have a place in my world to entertain me. That’s it.You make your living pretending to be someone else. Playing dress up like a 6 year old. You livein a make believe world in front of a camera. And often when you are away from one too. Your entire existence depends on my patronage. I’ll crank the Best Freakin Godaholic Ever Leggings grinder; you dance.I don’t really care where you stand on issues. Honestly, your stance matters far less to me than that of my neighbor. You see, you aren’t real. I turn off my TV or shut down my computer and you cease to exist in my world. Once I am done with you, I can put you back in your little box until I want you to entertain me again.I don’t care that you think the BP executives deserve the death penalty.
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But I bet you looked cute saying it.And you? Really? I’m supposed to care what the director of fluffy tripe made for gullible people thinks about global warming or gun control? Get back into your bubble. I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something blue and shiny.And I’m also supposed to care that you will leave this great country if Trump becomes president? Ha. Please don’t forget to close the door behind you. We’d like to reserve your seat for someone who loves this Best Freakin Godaholic Ever Leggings and really wants to be here.Make me laugh, or cry. Scare me. But realize that the only words of yours that matter are scripted. I might agree with some of you from time to time, but it doesn’t matter. In my world, you exist solely for my entertainmentSo, shut your pie hole and dance.