Guess that’s why this makes us moms Wonder Baptists don’t believe in Best Smart Ass Son Ever Shirt. They would only baptize fully grown chicken sandwiches, who can make a profession of faith.Fake News!We all know Chick-Fil-A isn’t open on the only day Baptists eat together! As a born and bred Evangelical, I demand that ChickFilA start serving me lemonade in tiny plastic cups, not those giant papist cups. You joke but that is the absolute truth. Who wants any part of a bare nugget anyway? You must dunk it all. That’s just Biblical. I think it is II Opinions 15:3, but don’t quote me on that. The true question is no whether to sprinkle or dunk but if the nugget was predestined to be dunked or sprinkled. Only the very elect nuggets are chosen, otherwise they are banished to be chicken fries at Burger King. Chick-Fil-A sauce is the ONLY traditionalist way to go, every now and then you can moderately use Polynesian, all others are forbidden! As a Methodist minister we just dip the front portion.
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I remember once having a Baptist minister preach a service at our Church. He saw a cup of water on the pulpit, he started to take a drink. I had to stop him, I told him that was our baptismal pool. Obviously, Jesus prefers the BBQ sauce, but I think the apostle Paul teaches that we shouldn’t judge our brothers and sisters who eat Polynesian sauce sacrificed to idols. But…Srirachi! I have to be a “compromiser” because I like em with Srirachi – if I didn’t sprinkle instead of immerse, it would put my mouth in purgatory (temporary torment)! Hahahah.. Though, it would be funny to see my Baptist self fully immerse these delicious treats in Srirachi! Oh, the pain… This Baptist might start speaking in tongues! Don’t worry guys, Timothy Keller recently wrote an Best Smart Ass Son Ever Shirt to defend those who choose to only sprinkle or pour their sauce on theirnuggets. Don’t get caught up in strict legalism. Full immersion dipping is not the only way.On this occasion, despite their flagrant disregard for half the bible’s teaching on methods of purification, and the rather obvious complication that Jesus was buried in a cave not lowered into a grave, I entirely agree with my Baptist brothers technique for the baptism of chicken nuggets.