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My children are younger but I know where you are coming from x All I can say is don’t beat yourself up and seek some outside support. Maybe she resents having your decisions imposed on her, even with the explanations, people generally don’t like to feel that they are being controlled. I Just Want To Drink Hot Chocolate And Watch Christmas Movies Shirt. A nearly-teenager is old enough to be involved in the decision-making process, I would discuss the problem with her and ask her what her ideas are for resolving it. YES. I know this to be true because I remember what it was like to be a child who was forced to be obedient.

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I also sharply remember the prices I had to pay as a result of not having learned to trust or protect myself adequately enough. I have learned to do that now, & I’m proud to say that I’m parenting two cooperative boys! Disagree with this. How about when you loudly tell (aka yell at) your child ‘stop!’ because they’re about to get hit by a grocery cart, aggressive dog, random person not paying attention? If they’re not accustomed to ‘obeying, they’ll just keep right on motoring into danger. It’s not a bad thing to have a kid that is trained. There’s a fine line – as with everything – when it comes to raising future adults.

No. A child who is used to being treated gently and respectfully will know that if her parent is suddenly yelling, then it must be something important. But if the parent is always barking commands at the kid, they are more likely to ignore that danger warning. Isabel Snow I agree. When my voice gets louder, it puts my kiddo on high alert. If I were to yell all the time, it would be normal. Same here. When I yell at my kid “freeze!” or “stop!” he knows I see a danger approaching and he stops instantly. Never ever had a problem with that.

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The thing is if you yell ONLY when danger is around like a speeding truck for instance then your kid reacts differently. If you yell at your kid all the time of course he ignores yelling because of danger. I encourage my kid to stand up for himself. Sure other parents look at me funny and some shake their heads when my kid raises his voice but I know that standing up for himself at least makes him an unlikely target for molesters or rapists. I don’t want an obedient kid! As a parent, your kid obeying you doesn’t mean raising your voice at every turn.

My teenage boys knew (and still know) that a single raised eyebrow from mom means business. Nor are my boys pushovers. In my opinion, a child does need to learn to obey their parents early on because there are laws, rules and bosses that they’ll have to adhere to in the future. That doesn’t mean squashing their creativity or making them targets. It means teaching them how to be adults.  I have a very assertive girl toddler. Even she can tell the difference in my voice when it is warning about danger. She’s not yet three.

Laws rules and bosses isn’t blind obedience, they’re guidelines and in the case of a boss, a choice (I Just Want To Drink Hot Chocolate And Watch Christmas Movies Shirt). I agree with Isabel. The article did say that of course there are times when they need to do as told….but when you can listen to their opinions and let them have a voice also! It’s just that simple.  Unless safely is an issue I give my daughter the same respect I’d give anyone else with a differing opinion. That doesn’t mean I give my daughter whatever she asks for.