I just want him to have some sort of purpose”. As parents Like A Magic Shirt want that for our children. Or we should. You must love him and let him find that in his own way and time. It wouldn’t hurt to convey those things to him. I love you and want for you to find purpose in your life, my son. It could work wonders.
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Who cares if the kid goes to church? its not the parents business if the guy wants to go to church or not. He also should have not disowned his son. Sounds like while the kid may be a handful, the father needs to take anger management classes.
Sometimes we need to hear the words spoken; if you haven’t already, maybe you can sit him down and TELL him that it doesn’t matter to you if his success is measured in the traditional sense. He’s probably scared silly, looking at life and trying to figure it out. Best of luck to you!!!
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Sometimes the best thing is allow our children to fail, it helps them accept responsibility. It is very scary as a parent to do that because we can see what might happen. But through it they learn we love them anyway and that failing is not the end of the world. Took my daughter three weeks to realize only she was to blame when she didn’t do her home work. I didn’t even remind her during that three weeks. She has been a teacher for 16 years.
Believe it or not the word “purpose” could be backfiring. Some people feel finding a purpose difficult and like failures if it doesn’t come easy. “Happy” is a good goal. Or even just “contentment.” “If you’d like help letting go of some of your anger I’m here any time.”
Nobody is born knowing how to be a good parent, it sounds like you’re trying your best though. I hope that you and your son grow to understand each other better and build a stronger, happier relationship. You should just show him this… sometimes I think we are all too prideful with the people Like A Magic Shirt care about most and can’t be as open and honest and vulnerable as we can with others (I know I am).