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Don’t you ever have a bad day? Even if your kid is “just” moody, they have the right to determine who to kiss. Would you want someone to steal affection from you when you aren’t in the mood? Tori I can totally understand your point of view about teaching children about affection and how to relate to people. Two Things Last Forever My Tattoos The Love I Have For My Wife Shirt. I have a 2yo who went thru a phase of just straight up “NO!!” to everything too. But i think what this article is saying is to give your child an opportunity to know that it is ok to say no and for others to respect that and acknowledge their no’s.

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My 2yo isnt very affectionate and sometimes when we see family members or friends they get a kiss and other times Mr2 says a blatant no. In this case we suggest he gives them a cuddle or a fist pump or a high five and he will usually choose one. If not, we always just suggest he says hello rather than letting him run for the hills. I can usually tell when he is genuinely not wanting to give kisses and feeling pressured and i wonder if these situations are what the article is focussing on?

No is OK you should raise a child not to do anything that they are uncomfortable with just to please others, children can be swayed by the fact someone is older and bigger, I would never ask someone else’s child for a hug even a relative, if a child comes up and spontaneously gives me a hug I will return it, people asking other peeps kids to hug them or tickling children is an absolute no no in my books, holding a child down and forcibly tickling them while they are trying to break free but have no power, to me is a form of abuse.

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I understand where you’re coming from. I have to say, though, that I’ve let my almost 7 year old to always say no, which is completely against my cultural norms, and my family has learned that when he seeks affection it means a lot more to everyone because it isn’t obligatory.  I’m a twin mom and there was a period in which one of my boys (prob around 2 or so) didn’t want to kiss or hug me, esp at bedtime. My friend (also a psychologist) suggested that I say something like, “That makes mommy sad, but maybe next time.” Over time, he did become more affectionate with me – on his terms, not mine.

When we visit family, if my boys don’t want to show affection, I ask them to just wave or say hello. I want them to acknowledge others, even if they’d rather not hug or kiss them. My daughter hates being tickled. And although she’s laughing and showing signs she’s enjoying it, she really isn’t. It’s important to make clear that although it might seem like someone might be liking it, if he/she says stop, then stop. Read my post I wrote it before I scrolled and read this. Totally agree, if I see someone even a parentbholding a child down and forcibly tickling, I get extremely protective.

Agreed. I think it sends a terrible message when kids are pressured to give hugs, kisses, or other expressions of emotion (verbal too). It makes me extremely uncomfortable and I try very hard never to do it to my children.  I love that my boys are so tactile, especially my youngest, who is four and still loves being babied! Two Things Last Forever My Tattoos The Love I Have For My Wife Shirt. I accept that there will come a day when kisses and hugs in public are ‘soooo embarrassing’, but I would find it so hard right now not to be able to demonstrate my affection to them.