He is making a big effort to stay connected to her. You have to make the effort for Whoever Is In Charge Of Making Sure I Don’t Do Stupid Shit Shirt, who knows? I recognise the look on your mom’s face, the blank stare and her admission that she knows she is losing it and tries so hard to get her thoughts expressed in a way you can understand but can’t.
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Dementia is a thief of the mind, memories, the emotions and physical abilities. Thank you for sharing your mom’s journey. People tell me they know it is hard, unless they have lived it, they have no clue. We are going through this with my dad. He still knows who we are right now, but does get confused and his personality is so different. I have come home and cried many times.
We do have a day and night caregiver that stays with him. It is so heartbreaking watching someone you love go thru this. I will be praying for you and your family. Most people have no idea what this terrible disease is all about. You are doing a great job taking care of your mom and documenting her journey. Someone once told me when you love someone with dementia you are in a constant state of mourning. At first you mourn the person who was but is only here physically and in the end you mourn the person who has pasted on. It is a very hard to go through.
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To see the person who was your rock and you thought was the smartest,strongest person you know not recognize you is one of the hardest things in the world. Both my parents had alzheimer’s. My dad passed away in 1991 and my mom died in 2008. I remember visiting my dad one day at the nursing home, and he showed me his bed sheets all wrapped up in his arms and told me it was his new baby (me).
The next week when i went to visit him, he didn’t remember me at all. God bless you joey. It turns your world upside down. It’s like you become the parent to your own parent. It certainly isn’t fair, but i treasure the time i spent with my parents. I also feel there is a peace you find in taking care of your mom that is truly a blessing. You’re doing a wonderful and important thing for her.
I worked with dementia patients for over 10 years as a nurse. Forget trying to to still be mother & son. If mom thinks you are her cousin or brother, so be it. Mom can longer be a part of your world but you can adapt to still be part of her world. Until the last stages of dementia, you can still have some meaningful relationships. Don’t focus so much on what she has lost, focus on what she still has. We have been so fortunate. My mother first started being angry and unreasonable with herself, mostly, because she knew Whoever Is In Charge Of Making Sure I Don’t Do Stupid Shit Shirt was loosing it. She went past that and is now calm and living in lala land.